


A cold

by imsfire



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Common Cold, F/M, Hoth setting, Illness, Jyn has a bug, Mild Angst, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, flangst, illness provoking stressful memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:27:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24005845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imsfire/pseuds/imsfire
Summary: Jyn has a common cold.  It's more stressful for her than it needs to be, but Cassian understands.
Relationships: Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso
Comments: 3
Kudos: 61





	A cold

**Author's Note:**

> May the Fourth be with you!

“My Force-damned ears are so blocked I can hear myself swallowing!” Jyn’s forehead is furrowed by stress, her lips screwed into a glare. “I can hear noises in the inside of my own kriffing mouth better than I can you, and you’re standing right beside me!”

“You have a cold, Sergeant,” the med-droid tells her. “Your hearing is impaired because your sinuses are inflamed. It will improve once the rest of your symptoms clear.”

“How long?”

“The average duration of this infection is a week.”

For most people that would be the end of it; it’s nothing medically serious, there are painkillers for the sore throat and decongestants for the blocked nose. The common cold virus is unhappily prevalent in the crowded base. Cassian had had one himself, not a month ago, caught on Hoth and carried into the field. He’d kept it to himself and pushed on through to complete the mission, wishing he was back in the icy corridors of home and could just walk to med-bay and collect the necessary drugs. A sore, dry throat, a stuffy head, and a chesty cough; he’d been miserable, but he’d been undercover, and there was nothing out of the ordinary about misery, anyway.

But Jyn, here and now, looks more than miserable. Looks wild, almost desperate. “I can’t be ill,” she says “no, no, that can’t be right. I’ll shake it off. Walk it off. I – I can –“

The 2-1B is holding out a pad for her to sign to confirm she’s received the prescription, but she’s ignoring it. She rubs frantically at one ear, so hard she must be hurting herself, and it’s too much to watch and pretend he’s unmoved. Cassian cannot be neutral to her no matter how much he tries. 

He reaches over and lays his fingertips on the back of her wrist.

She freezes; only her eyes move, darting across to his face. “I _can’t_ be ill,” she repeats.

She sounds ill with fear.

“Jyn.” Her eyes go to his mouth; stars, she’s actually trying to lip-read. He speaks clearly and a tad louder than normal. “Jyn, it’s okay. You have a virus. It’s not a problem, you’re allowed to be unwell.”

Jyn shies away and he sees the moment she begins to shut down, her jaw tightening still more, turning the line of her mouth sulky, and then frightened. She’s neither of those things, he knows that. But somehow this minor inconvenience of having a cold is sending her into the darkest recesses of unhappiness.

She grabs the data-pad and signs for her allocation of cold meds. Heaves herself off the examination couch, saying “Yeah, yeah” irritably, while the 2-1B is still checking off its list of recommendations; keep warm, keep active, plenty of fluids…

Cassian follows her as she strides down into the passageway. She’s walking fast, but he can do that too; he quickens his pace till they’re abreast of one another and then gently allows his hand to brush her arm. Doesn’t say anything, just stays alongside her, touching her briefly and without demand, and letting his hand swing away again as they walk. 

When they get back to quarters she turns towards him with the look of someone facing a judge. “I’m sorry. I know I’m being stupid.”

“No, you’re not. I know how high your standards are. Being ill impairs performance by at least 21%.” He hopes the Kay-ish note will make her smile, but she’s still grim-faced. “And it’s miserable,” he adds.

“Oh Cassian.” Jyn subsides suddenly in front of him, all the prickling frustration and rage slipping away. “It’s not about that. It frightens me when this happens –“

And there it is. At least she feels able to say it to him. Jyn is very seldom afraid of anything. She admits to it even less. What is it about catching the common cold that has her in such a funk she’ll say it openly?

“Frightens you?” he repeats gently, inviting her to go on.

“We weren’t allowed to get ill. Forbidden. Saw – Saw used say _If you get sick, you keep walking. No-one will come back for you if you fall behind.”_

The old Lion. What a slave-driver in the fight for freedom. “Force, Jyn. That was harsh.”

“But it wasn’t just Saw being Saw. Once I was on my own, that’s when he was really right. There wasn’t anyone to come back for me anyway, even if they’d wanted to. If I was ill, it could kill me. I know it’s not the same here but it’s all there inside me still, the knowledge that I can’t slip up, not once, not ever, that I’m on my own and –“ she’s getting increasingly hoarse and she starts to cough, wrapping her arms round her chest with a grunt of pain. “Fuck, ah fuck that hurts!”

“I know what you mean,” he tells her when the coughing fit subsides enough for her to have a chance of hearing him with her ears so muffled by congestion. “It’s like that when you’re under cover in the field. When you have to rely on yourself or you die.”

Jyn nods, holding her ribcage. “Yeah. You know. Of course you know. I’m sorry to talk about me like I’m the only one who ever –“

“That’s not what I meant. I just meant – I understand.”

“I know. I’ll take my meds and no-one will leave me behind here.”

He reaches out and pulls her close; feels the tension as she starts to resist and then the relief with which she lets it go, and settles against his chest. A relief he shares. She'll be okay. She always is. She knows her own demons well, and never lets them rule her for long.

“Hey, be careful,” she whispers after a moment. “Don’t want to infect you.”

“I had it last month,” he reminds her. “Probably still got antibodies. And I’ll wash my hands.”


End file.
